Am I An Ally?
What does it mean to be an ally to the BIPOC community? Meditation teacher and anti-racism educator Holiday Phillips explains to us some fundamental do's and dont's.
By Holiday Phillips
Are we really allies? Are we being the anti-racist advocates that our BIPOC community really needs? Or are we just skimming the surface of what we think is ‘allyship’ and then calling it a day?
We have dedicated our platform for the past few weeks to providing real, heavy but important conversations on the racial injustices that riddle our society. One of the biggest questions that white people have had is whether what we’re doing is truly allyship, or whether it is just symbolic and lacking real effect. We sat down with Holiday Phillips, meditation teacher, anti-racism educator and all-round incredible human.
Before we get into the nitty gritty of what it means to be a true ally to the BIPOC community, we need to set the tone by defining what allyship is. Holiday so succinctly put it as this: ‘Allyship is the act of people from a non-marginalised group advocate for the equality of marginalised group. It is a transfer of privilege.’
It is not about going on a self-improvement journey, or adding a new string to your bow so to speak, or about gaining something - in fact it’s quite the opposite.
In other words, a true ally uses their privilege to help level the playing field for disadvantaged communities. It’s not like winning a race or getting a good grade on an essay - there is no badge of honour to gain; it’s not like you do one act of activism and can say “anti-racism? Completed it mate.” This is lifelong work - allyship is about committing to living an anti-racist life and consistently working to dismantle racism and white privilege every day for the rest of our lives. We need to remember, racism has been a thing for hundreds of years. It won’t take one small act to stop something hundreds of years in the making.
It is also important to know that doing anti-racist work is not self development. It is not about going on a self-improvement journey, or adding a new string to your bow so to speak, or about gaining something - in fact it’s quite the opposite. It is about looking at yourself, understanding where in your life you have benefitted from being white, unpicking racial biases that are weaved into the way you live (probably without you realising in the moment, these are the most important to recognise).
But how we can go forth into our work in anti-racism? Holiday wonderfully pointed out three essential steps in working on being anti-racist.
The first is acknowledgement
Acknowledging that we have been, up until now, part of the problem. That we have benefitted from a system that has oppressed others, that we have never had to worry about being persecuted in any area of our lives purely based on the colour of our skin. Now this isn’t a step to lightly gloss over, to just say once ‘yep, I have benefitted from this unjust system we live in. Ok, moving on, what’s next?’
We need to sit down and really dig into every aspect of our being and confront where we have had the advantage. This is not easy, I know, but it was never meant to be easy. Holiday quotes the famous Persian poet Rumi, when making this point: ‘These pains you feel are messengers. Listen to them.’ Even though he said this in the 13th Century, his message has never been more relevant as it is today. Your deep discomfort, any shame or guilt you may feel when you look back at how you may have benefitted from white privilege, don’t run away from these feelings. They are useful. They are telling you to make change.
The second step is knowledge.
Education. I think it is important to say here that while it is good to keep reading and engaging with everything being shared on social media, I think the true knowledge has to come from reading up on the history of racism in your country and in the world. Really look into things like British colonialism, the Jim Crow laws in the US and apartheid in South africa. We need to look back at its roots, and how it has gotten to where it is today.
It’s not like winning a race or getting a good grade on an essay - there is no badge of honour to gain; it’s not like you do one act of activism and can say “anti-racism? Completed it mate.”
The third step is finding ways you can make change within your remit.
Holiday very beautifully pointed out that we can all locate our power in the world - you don’t need to be a politician, or a CEO of a company or even a social media influencer to have the power to make change. What we can all do is work on locating where our power lies - this might be with your kids, with your family, within your close friendship circle, perhaps in your local community. Every person has the ability to instigate some change, whether large or small. It is just about figuring out where in your life you can influence others, and harnessing that to advocate for racial equality.
Holiday spoke about silent actions of activism and what she called moments of micro-activism. These are things we can all do, acts we can take in our personal lives to spark change. Going to public protests may not be safe or feasible for everyone (particularly during a pandemic), we may not be able to afford donating to the plethora of charitable funds, and not all of us have 10,000+ followers on Instagram to speak to. That’s okay. Speaking to a friend, a colleague or a family member might be a better starting point for you, and that’s okay! Don’t feel like you have to have a loud voice to be able to spread an important message.
An act that she mentioned, admittedly something that hasn’t ever crossed my mind, was to hold space for a BIPOC person to let them outpour their rage, pain and upset. What does this look like? This could involve you letting one of your black friends direct their rage and pain at you, giving them the opportunity to channel these emotions through you so you can take some of the burden off of their shoulders. Now I know what you’re thinking - nobody likes to be yelled at. Nobody likes to be confronted with these emotions. Of course not - we’re human. But we have to remember that this rage, this pain and hurt is not about you. It’s not a personal attack. It’s about the situation.
It is really useful for us humans to direct our emotions somewhere or into something - it’s why a lot of the time people snap at partners or turn to their friends to cry when something has upset them. One of the most loving things we can do is be that person for a BIPOC friend to direct their emotions to. Just lighten the load a little for them. But remember not to take this a personal affront.
Now I’m aware that by nature this looks like a 3-step process to reparation, and once you achieve the third step you’re done. Not quite - these are steps that we need to be constantly going through, again and again. Don’t lose momentum.
HOLIDAY PHILLIPS
Holiday Phillips is a Meditation teacher, Coach, Writer and Anti-racism educator. She writes and speaks on the topics of culture, personal transformation and love as a force for social justice.
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