Tough Love

Join Holli on our podcast, Tough Love where we explore self-esteem and body image by talking to people who are changing the conversation around how we see ourselves.

Tell us a little about yourself and your work

My job is to find ways to better understand and support people, and as a body image specialist a huge part of what i do is focused on self esteem and awareness. Put into practice - the discussions i have daily always come back to the idea of mindfulness. But these conversations are often behind closed doors; one on one, or in a small group discussion or conference. When i met Michael, just Breathe’s founder a few months back we realised there was a big connection between the work that i do and the work that just breathe does in their community. So, we decided to join forces - and ‘tough love’ was born. I truly believe there is so much power in just feeling heard, and having an honest conversation about how we really feel and how we see ourselves can have a huge impact on how we behave, and how we choose to live. 

Why do you find this subject so interesting, and what took you down this path?

Over the past 25 years of doing this work, and working with many diverse populations, i have learned and come to truly understand that body image is not just about bodies. It is not the way you look, or what you weigh, it’s about so much more. All too often we’re lead to believe that body image is our shape and size, but we need to talk about the body in context. How have we come to feel the way we do about our bodies? We have absorbed negative societal messaging around our physical selves.

Whilst i have the privilege of speaking with clients one to one in my practice, this podcast allowed me to have open conversations with others who are making big changes in the way we now discuss and talk about our bodies and it gives our listeners a chance to see the world from a different perspective.  

“So often the real weight we carry is emotional, psychological and deeply personal  - and a part of our history that will never show up in the mirror.”

Is it is important to practice tough love?

Tough love is the approach i use to support people of all ages as they break the societal messaging that misleads us into believing that our value is what we see, not who we are. Tough love is about the process of un-doing. Undoing our own thinking about our bodies and how we have treated them over the years, and being ruthless in our path to healing, so that we can move away from the “tough love” critical way of perceiving and treating our bodies, into a more gentle, caring and compassionate way of living in and from them.

Why do you feel it is important to have this conversation right now?

Should we all be a part of the body positivity movement? Or should we subscribe to the idea of body neutrality? We are talking about body image all the time, at home with our families, in the news and with our friends, we spend so much time thinking about how others perceive us. The expanding world of wellness, fitness, fashion and beyond is filled with a million different ideals which can be very confusing.

So often the real weight we carry is emotional, psychological and deeply personal  - and a part of our history that will never show up in the mirror. To hear from experts in their fields talk about their views of body image, and its impact on who we are offers listeners the opportunity to learn from and be empowered to think about their bodies differently.

How do you connect the idea of mindfulness and body image?

Practicing yoga is how i first connected my body and mind and appreciated just how were inextricably linked the two really are. Yoga gave me an appreciation of the connection between my body and the thoughts i had about my body, and i began to understand myself more holistically. Through yoga, i began to appreciate all my body could do and this amazed me and deemphasised the importance i placed on its appearance. When i am practicing yoga and can wholeheartedly be in my body and flow through the movements without being distracted by the chatter of my mind, this is mindfulness.

What does mindfulness mean to you?

Mindfulness is another word for awareness which i help foster through the process of psychotherapy. Mindfulness gives you the opportunity to gain self awareness whereby allowing you to choose to engage with or disconnect from your thoughts. For me, it is a practice that requires discipline - it can be really hard work but worth it in the end.

What do you hope listeners will learn from listening to this podcast?

I hope listeners will understand how often body image comes into play in their lives, and how much overlap their is between how we feel about how we look and how we feel about ourselves overall. I hope to help listeners find a way of loving, or at least accepting and not hating their bodies. By viewing our bodies more neutrally and as more of a vehicle, or a home and less of an ornament, we can begin to appreciate all it can do for us. We can recognise and value it’s function over form. I hope to amplify the message and share this approach to support people of all ages as they break the societal boundaries that mislead us into believing that our value is what we see, not who we are.

What other subjects do you hope to tackle in coming seasons?

In these episodes we spoke to 8 amazing women, who all have their own unique stories to share. There is still so much to say, and this conversation continues to grow, i can’t wait to record some more. I won’t give anything away at this stage, but stay tuned! 

You can join Holli on our podcast, Tough Love where we explore self-esteem and body image by talking to people who are changing the conversation around how we see ourselves. In this interview we discuss with Holli why she thinks these discussions are important for the modern generation, and why it's so important to think beyond what we see in the mirror.

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Listen to Tough Love

Episode 1

Scars and Survival with Michelle Ellman

In this episode we’re joined by award-winning body positive activist Michelle Ellman to delve deep into her journey from surgery and scars to self-acceptance.

Episode 2

Fat is an Idea with Susie Orbach

A podcast on body image isn’t complete without a conversation with Susie Orbach, the world-renowned psychotherapist, psychoanalyst, social critic and author of ‘Fat is a Feminist Issue’ which has sold over 1 million copies.

Episode 3

Making the Change With Gina Martin

Gina Martin, a one-woman whirlwind and the definition of a modern activist, as a victim of up-skirting Gina fought back to change the law and make ups-skirting illegal with no prior political experience.

Episode 4

Disrupting Diet Culture With Laura Thomas

Holli is joined by Laura Thomas PhD to discuss our relationship with food, how it got so complicated and how we can reconnect with our intuition and learn to trust our own bodies.

Episode 5

Self Care For The Generations With Suzy Reading

Our guest this week is Suzy Reading, chartered psychologist, mother of two and health coach who specialises in self-care and teaching people how to cope during periods of stress, loss and change. 

Episode 6

How Do You Value Yourself With Emilie Bellet

In this episode, we’re joined by Emilie Bellet, CEO of digital platform Vestpod. Emilie’s on a mission to change the conversation about money and empower women financially.

Episode 7

Finding Your Voice With Rhiannon Lambert

In this episode we’re joined by Harley Street Nutritionist Rhiannon Lambert, one of the most respected and revered nutritionists in the industry who works with Olympic athletes and the NHS. 

Episode 8

Radical Body Politics With Kat Hawkins

We’re joined by double amputee Kat Hawkins who has pushed her mind and body to its limits to prove anything really is possible. Kat is incredibly giving with her story, making this a hugely important conversation in the world of disability and body image. 

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