Get out of your own way
When was the last time you felt you weren’t good enough?
by Michael James Wong
We all have moments where we second guess ourselves, let ourselves believe we’re not good enough, smart enough, strong enough to do certain things. We can find ourselves saying “I’m not right for this job, so I just won’t apply” or “I’m not sure I’m ready for this, so I’ll let the opportunity pass”.
I don’t know about you, but this has happened to me many times in my life. Whether it’s job opportunities, or life experiences, I’ve often found myself thinking “I don’t know, what if this happens, ah who knows if this is a good path”. In the end, I didn’t do anything.
Over the years I’ve started to become more aware when I’m getting in my own way, noticing the self-limiting things I say to myself. Once you recognise that you’re in your own way, you can start to clear the path.
So whether you’re unsure about embarking on your next adventure, booking that plane ticket (although highly doubtful in COVID times!), saying yes to that job opportunity, or even raising your hand to say something next time you’re in that university seminar, here are 5 things to remember.
1. Just try
All we can ever really do is try our best. It’s important to remember that trying isn’t failing - it’s simply a willingness to participate. All too often, our society perpetuates this idea that success is only results-based, or the end product. I see it slightly differently - being determined to try your best in everything you do, even in the things that scare you, is successful.
2. We are often our biggest obstacle
Ultimately, the biggest obstacle in the way of us doing things is ourselves. We have a knack for coming up with a million and one reasons why we shouldn’t or can’t do something, but really the obstacle isn’t those small little bumps, it’s the mind that’s conjuring them up.
3. Failure is the first attempt in learning
When it comes to doing that thing that scares you, it’s beneficial to start shifting your perspective on what ‘failure’ is. Really, failure is just your first attempt in learning. We shouldn’t let fear of failure stop us from trying in the first place, so starting to shift the way you view said ‘failure’ can actually help you to overcome this.
4. Speak to yourself like you would a friend
Picture yourself sitting around with a friend, who tells you they’re thinking of applying for a job but they don’t think they have what it takes. Chances are, you’ll be saying things like “you should definitely apply! You work hard and learn quickly and will be amazing for the role.” That’s what friends do - we encourage each other, help them understand that they’re worthwhile and valuable.
If we start speaking to ourselves the way we speak to our friends, I think we’ll get out of our own way and experience more that life has to offer us.
5. Say yes to one thing on your to-do list
I’ve often been guilty of having a running to-do list of things I want to do, see, try, but some of them seem to sit on the list for weeks, months, maybe even a year!
What’s that one thing that’s been sitting on your list for a while now? Even if all the negative/fearful chatter in the back of your head is going on, try and just do it. Don’t let the fear or the doubt stop you from trying.
Give yourself the opportunity to see what happens from here.
MICH
aEL j
ames wong
Michael is a community activist, writer, educator and meditation teacher, he is regarded as a leading voice in the global movement for modern mindfulness. Born in Wellington, New Zealand, raised in Los Angeles, California and is now living in London, his greatest joy in life is building and celebrating strong and meaningful communities. Michael is also the Founder of Just Breathe.
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