F**k Fear
This year has been one crazy rollercoaster ride, to say the least. When everything out there is going awry, and distancing ourselves from one another has become the new state of play, how do we make sure kindness and connection with those around us doesn’t become a thing of the past?
By Frazer McGlinchey
2020 was supposed to be a year of clarity; of 20/20 vision and optimism. That promise seems like a distant memory. Now, more than ever, we need positivity and clarity for the remainder of 2020 and beyond.
Isolation, anxiety and depression have risen, and the impact is felt far and wide. The unprecedented, seismic impact of recent months has profoundly impacted all of us, beyond the individual. It has simultaneously shown that COVID has been a universal experience, while revealing the massive disparity of race, wealth and circumstance on us all.
Fault lines have been drawn. The backlash, and the death rattles of privilege and entitlement have brought systemic problems to the fore, offering us more clarity than ever.
“Change is the only constant, and trying to preserve an imagined, idealised past which was profoundly flawed in reality is a fool’s errand.”
What are certain sectors of society trying to preserve, and why? These are discussions for all of us to have. Those perpetuating cruelty and self-interest, and the fear which underpins their actions are clearer than ever. This year has shown, where needed, that deference to our supposed ‘superiors’ is misguided. There is nobody more important than you.
Fear of change is an exercise in futility. Change is the only constant, and trying to preserve an imagined, idealised past which was profoundly flawed in reality is a fool’s errand.
Across the issues of race, gender, sexuality, identification and climate there are waves of empowered, engaged and aware citizens uniting, locally and globally, with purpose and passion. There are individuals, and movements which fill me with optimism. Conscious change is happening, and will continue to do so. The more unity, and purpose we choose the greater the impact.
Fear is a choice, so is kindness. Fear of the Other is at the root of hatred; it’s divisive, wrong-headed, and helps nobody. Making cruelty, self-interest, and bigotry the outliers they should be, rather than tolerating, or normalising them are ways to impact change. In tackling fear, as in all else we get to choose. To choose what to put our precious time, and energy into. Fear of COVID, and concern in these unprecedented times are natural. Again, we get to choose how we see the impact on our lives, and how we engage.
Staying safe, and being responsible may seem tiresome and attritional at times. Wearing a mask, keeping distance and cleaning more, though, are all incredible revolutionary acts.
“Community means togetherness. Connection, and communication are key to sustain and nurture us.”
But kindness is Revolutionary. We need to remember at all times that they are profound, tiny acts of kindness to ourselves, our families, friends and all of humanity. When we choose, let’s choose kindness. Kindness is a personal, and a political act. Tiny acts of kindness are revolutionary.
The more we can raise the base levels of kindness we treat ourselves and each other with, the greater the tangible, positive change. Seeing, and supporting the real struggles of others to ensure they don’t remain marginalised, abused and victimised are goals for all of us to achieve.
Community means togetherness. Connection, and communication are key to sustain and nurture us. Even if the medium changes, the intention can still be conveyed, and understood. Reach out. Check in with yourself, then somebody else. Now is not the time to be reticent.
Tell people they are important, and loved, when you mean it. Listen to them, without judgement, and let them know they are not alone. Choose to be grateful for all we have, rather than whatever we don’t . For the opportunity to start again; to try, fail, try again and succeed 86400 times every single day. For the present moment, and adventures yet to come over cancelled holidays, and inconveniences.
This is not to trivialise our experiences, and our feelings - they’re all valid, and real. It’s simply to suggest that holding on to what doesn’t serve us isn’t worthy of us.
Unconditional love, and acceptance are not naive, utopian goals, neither are they passive; they demand real effort, and commitment to shift what we believe, and how we act in tiny, revolutionary ways every day. There’s no them and us, just us. We may not be able to predict the rest of 2020 and beyond, but we can choose to shape the present with our words and actions.
I would humbly suggest the following… F**k fear. Spread love.
DR FRaZER MCGLINCHEY PhD
Frazer collaborates, curates and creates unique accessible wellness programmes, events, parties with purpose and content to raise the level of kindness we treat ourselves and each other with.
In addition he is working on Kind Squad, his daughter Tallulah's platform launching soon, trying to keep up with his son Oran's reading, practicing yoga and studying to teach children meditation.
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