Are You Really Listening?
In a world that can seem more disconnected day by day, how can we start to create better connections with ourselves and those around us?
by Michael James Wong
It’s fair to say that tensions are rife at the moment. We are in the thick of what seems to be a social, political, environmental and cultural shift where a lot of issues are being unearthed, people are speaking up and we are holding a magnifying glass to the cracks in the way society has been operating. While this is all undeniably important work, however I think it’s also high time we lean into practicing meaningful connection, both with ourselves and others. What makes something meaningful though; how can we create meaningful connection?
Here are 5 things to consider about creating meaningful connections with ourselves and others.
1. Start to tune in to how you feel, think and notice
We need to give ourselves permission to discover how we think and react, how we feel, and what is it that we notice within ourselves. What this does is it builds a sense of awareness and empathy, which helps us to become more in tune with what’s going on with others. Once we start to become more aware of ourselves, it’s much easier to extend that to others. Lets go inward, then go outwards with our journey for connection.
2. Slow down
How many times do you wake up and ‘hit the ground running?’ Those times when you jump out of bed, quickly scramble to get your things together then fly out the door to get to your first meeting? I think this is fairly common practice for a lot of us, especially when our schedules are jam-packed and we crave business. However, when we’re running from pillar to post with very little time to just breathe in between, there’s even less time to prioritise connection; we’re too preoccupied with getting everything done on our to-do lists instead.
If we just slowed down a little, and perhaps knocked on or two things off of our to-do lists, we would free up more time and headspace to foster those meaningful connections, whether with yourself or someone else. This could be more time to simply go for a walk in nature, or meet that friend for coffee that you’ve been constantly rescheduling. Being busy is a choice, and so is choosing to build connections.
3. Notice and understand what is, not what things should or shouldn’t be
What is the status of you today, what’s going on? I think we spend a lot of our time and energy thinking about what happened yesterday, what will happen tomorrow and what we should or should not be doing. Human beings have a remarkable capacity to reflect and to project, but I believe we often do this at the detriment to the enjoyment of the present moment.
4. Infuse your connections with purpose
How do we connect to everything around us? The streets, the cafes, the parks? How do you choose this place over that? It all comes down to purpose. Consider this: instead of picking a coffee shop or restaurant merely out of convenience, try looking at different factors - friendly atmosphere, locally sourced ingredients, whether they work with charities etc. Let’s start to make our places of gathering purposeful, meaningful. Make them warrant your attention.
5. Change is inevitable, growth is optional
If there’s one important thing to remember about living mindfully, it is that it’s not a destination but a journey, a process; a conscious choice you make each day. Some things that may have served you up until now may have been wonderful and meaningful, but perhaps they’re not anymore. Know that it’s okay to let go of things and make space for new, more meaningful connections - this could be relationships, moving somewhere new, changing jobs.
After all - change is inevitable, but growth is optional. Remember though, connection doesn’t always have to be a big, grand action. Simply acknowledging the little things - the breath, how your body is feeling, the place you’re in right now - is a great first step. Let connection be your everyday intention, no matter how big or small.
MICH
aEL j
ames wong
Michael is a community activist, writer, educator and meditation teacher, he is regarded as a leading voice in the global movement for modern mindfulness. Born in Wellington, New Zealand, raised in Los Angeles, California and is now living in London, his greatest joy in life is building and celebrating strong and meaningful communities. Michael is also the Founder of Just Breathe.
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