Eye-contact these days is all too fleeting.

by Michael James Wong

I mean, we use it for loved ones, friends, making pleasantries. It’s something we do on the way in, and on the way out to mark our arrival/departure. We look each other in the eye when we’re trying to make a point in the conversation. 

But besides that, it’s quite rare. Have we lost the art of non-verbal communication? 

When we look people in the eyes, they see a lot of us. Our vulnerabilities, our insecurities are seemingly on show. The things that we distract away from with our words - they’re all in there. 

So, it’s understandable why it’s not naturally a normal occurrence in our everyday lives, but it’s unfortunate because eye-contact can bring so much benefit. 

Why? Here are 3 reasons. 

1. It’s a powerful tool of communication

Eye-contact is a powerful way to communicate with one another. However, we often lead with our words and let our other senses sit behind them. Sometimes more can be said by a simple acknowledgement through the eyes. 

2. It helps build a meaningful connection

When we intentionally use eye-contact, we invigorate all of our senses and start connecting more meaningfully. Think about all those times something (perhaps a compliment) was said to you while the person was either looking over your shoulder or not looking at you altogether. How did it make you feel? Chances are, that positive note lost a bit of its potency simply because the person wasn’t looking directly at you. When we want to connect with someone, looking at them directly in the eye is key in doing this. 

3. It welcomes a mutual understanding 

In a similar vein, when we connect eye-to-eye, we start to cultivate mutual understanding. Truly seeing and understanding each other is so important to humanity - it says, without words, that we are a community, a team, and not just a bunch of individual bodies. It’s a way of seeing other people’s vulnerabilities, and accepting them for who they are regardless. 

To connect eye-to-eye is to be brave enough to be seen and be attentive enough to see. It is to show up and allow the moment to be only that which we can visually understand. 

So, as you go forward in your day, where can you look people more directly in the eye? 

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